Fan Girl Attack on Chateau Paradizo
by demented cookies
Summary: Read and review to me what you think. Is Minerva a real Mary Sue who deserves to be hated like a wild maniacal animal or is she misunderstood. R&R.


**I think I'll leave it up to you to decide whether or not Minerva deserves to be hated like this. Please R&R and I'll probably receive a lot of flames. Oh well, the price to speak your mind.**

"I repeat," the television reporter said, "the large group of Artemis Fowl fan girls said, 'Die, Minerva, die! We're coming to get you, and when we do, we'll chop you into little pieces and feed your innards to the dogs.' We don't know why these fan girls would want to kill this other girl named 'Minerva' but we do know that the French Police will be paying very close attention to this group and make sure they're threat is an empty one."

Minerva sighed sadly and turned off the TV. When would these fan girls leave her alone? What did she do? It's true, she did kidnap Holly Short years ago, but didn't Artemis? And besides kidnapping her, she didn't do anything else.

She heard a rapping at the door. She quickly stood from the couch and looked at the screen on the wall to see who it was. It was a group of angry looking girls. Minerva rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to open the door," she said through the speaker. "How stupid do you think I am?"

"You _are _going to open the door." The lead fan girl's voice was crackly through the speaker. "You have to pay!"

"For what exactly?" the blonde French girl sighed.

"For making our Arty fall in love with you!" the fan girl screeched. "You stinkin' Mary Sue!"

"I am not a Mary Sue!" Minerva snapped. "Was it not I who made the mistake of stepping to close to Billy Kong while he was still conscious?"

"Yeah, well, we're just going to ignore that and call you a Mary Sue anyways. And we're going to ignore the fact that one of our excuses for hating you is that you kidnapped Holly when our Arty did the exact same thing and you were actually kinder to Holly than Artemis was."

"Well, I think you should reconsider coming to my front door and being as nasty as one can be. Why hate me and not someone who actually _did_ something?"

"Because," the fan girl thought for a few seconds, "um…because you made Artemis fall in love with you."

"I did not make Artemis fall in love with me. Why would it be my fault? Is it my fault I'm smart? Is it my fault I'm not ugly like the one who's banging on my door right now?"

"We're breaking the door down!" the fan girl screamed. Within seconds, the door was off its hinges and on the floor in a cloud of dust. "Get her!" the fan girls screamed and stampeded into the chateau.

"No!" Minerva cried. "You have no reason to do this!"

The fan girls took no notice and Minerva had no choice but to run. "Papa! Help! A group of girls is attacking me for no good reason!"

"We have reason! Because you stole our Arty from us!" the lead fan girl screeched. The whole rest of the group shouted in agreement.

Minerva looked over her shoulder at the approaching group. "Hey," she said, "what's a boy doing in this group?"

All eyes turned to the boy. He shrugged. "I'm here for the girls." The rest of the fan girls looked at each other and nodded.

"Get her!" the fan girls screamed.

"Wait! Stop! I did nothing!"

"Well, duh you did nothing. We're just attacking you for really stupid reasons: because Artemis likes you and because we say you're a Mary Sue when you're no more a Mary Sue than Artemis is a Gary Stu. We're just attacking you because we all have schoolgirl crushes on Artemis when he actually kind of likes you. Other than that, there is no good reason whatsoever."

"Then why don't you stop?"

"Because…because…because if we don't you'll turn up in book six."

Minerva rolled her eyes.

**I can't write about the fan girls stopping their attack because I know that until they all agree that Minerva isn't as bad as they think, they will never stop. And they probably never will agree that Minerva isn't that bad, even if Eoin Colfer says on TV or in the newspaper, "Minerva is not that bad. She didn't mean to start a cross-species war. Besides, Artemis almost started one too," or Artemis says in the book, "Minerva's a great girl. She was like me when I was 12. She's not bad." I feel sorry for her, receiving all this hatred when she doesn't deserve it. And I'm feeling sorry for her because I'm one of the few people who actually don't hate her. Yeah, I know. Lot's of flames coming my way, huh?**


End file.
